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        • 2 Ingredient Pancake
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Consistency have not yet found me

3/25/2014

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Very, very, very few entries during this time was made... I have no idea what shit I got up to. Lets just say that I was still not consistent in hitting my macros, especially during March, which happened to have 2 birthdays and a wedding. But let that not be an excuse, I ate shit apart from the official celebrations anyway.

I think it was during the end of March that my friend finally came to realise, no matter how thoroughly she helped and guided me, I'm still not recovered well enough to actually
be leading a new lifestyle. I could not let go of all the binging and restricting. I had tons of anxiety just including something that was previously off my meal plan, like Feta Cheese. But I had no anxiety whatsoever to binge on the whole Charlie & the Chocolate Factory. It had come to no surprise, she couldn't have helped me unless I started to change my ways. I needed to be more open. I needed to include more variety in my "diet" in order to prevent the binging and restricting cycle. I felt ashamed and bad for having received the best possible help, but not being able to follow through.

Training- 5 days a week of CrossFit in the AM ; 5 days a week of weight training in the PM
Nutrition- No logging, no consistency, binge and restrict cycle all over again.

binge, sugar high, weight gain, eating disorder, iifym, clean eating, birthday, wedding, cheating, last cheat, cheatmeal, fitness, bikini
PS: Disregard all the "Day..." on all the pictures, even upcoming ones. Just like most clean eaters I would have 1 day, well in my case 1 month, of "the last cheat" and would then start all over again. I stopped using "Day..." a while after I started officially reverse dieting myself.

Calories / Macros were the same.

Calories= 1460
  • Protein= 125 g
  • Carbs= 150 g
  • Fats= 40 g


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Monday-Wednesday= Good Girl ; Thursday= Good Girl Gone bad

3/10/2014

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This starting week was by no means perfect. I went over my carbs a bit, did not hit my proteins and was still low on fats. I did not track my foods for some reason on Monday, but Tuesday and Wednesday went great. I even enjoyed a take away "in macros".

Some of Thursday's sugar high included:
  • Chocolate chip cookies
  • Sparkles Butterscotch candies
  • Sparkles Fruit salad candies
  • A packet of Diddle Daddle Caramel Popcorn
  • 6 squares of party cake (yes, again.. sad, I know!)
  • 1 Chocolate Paddle Pop ice cream

Training- 5 days a week of CrossFit in the AM ; 5 days a week of weight training in the PM
Nutrition- Early the week= somewhat good ; end of the week= sugar high
for a few days
eating disorder, binge, sugar high, candy, cake, iifym, cheat meal, fitness, abs, love handles, reverse diet
Calories / Macros were the same, again, due to the fact that I was still not consistent enough in order to know how my body reacted.

Calories= 1460
  • Protein= 125 g
  • Carbs= 150 g
  • Fats= 40 g
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Not a single macro was hit!

3/1/2014

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The binge festival of the weekend obviously carried over to the week. I had a few good meals, but mostly I ate shit! Let me give an example of a days worth of binging (excluding some foods I had during the day).

Tuesday, 4 March: I had 2 Eet-Sum-Mor biscuits and 6 toffees "in macros" with my breakfast, this was a clear trigger for a later on binge. The foods I considered as a binge included:

  • The rest of the pack of toffees,
  • 2 sparkle candies,
  • 6 squares of birthday cake.
  • 3 mini chocolate covered doughnuts,
  • 1 whole packet of fudge (12 pieces),
  • 1 hand full of Biltong (Jerky),
  • 1/2 of a whole banana bread served with margarine,
  • 1 small bowl choc-mint ice-cream,
  • 1 pack romantics pink pills candy,
  • 1 Easter egg,
  • A bowl of venison mince with pasta shells

Training- 5 days a week of CrossFit in the AM ; 5 days a week of weight training in the PM
Nutrition- A whole week full of junk and being over my calorie goals

binge, cake, toffee, fudge, eating disroder, cheat meal, fitness
Calories / Macros were still the same due to the fact that I was not nearly consistent enough in order to know whether I am eating below maintenance, at maintenance or over maintenance.

Calories= 1460
  • Protein= 125 g
  • Cabs= 150 g
  • Fats= 40 g
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