“New year, new me” doesn’t quite capture how I’m feeling as of late. It’s more like “new year, deteriorated me.” I’m in a slump! But, I’m finally dragging out the last bit of courage left in me to climb over this little Mount Everest I’ve build up for myself, and make this year suck a little less…
Since the beginning of 2016, I’ve just been on a roller-coaster of emotions due to personal drama, which led me to stop eating which meant losing A LOT of weight and A LOT of that weight was muscle & also which led me to stop training (or train very infrequently) which meant losing A LOT of strength too. So, all-in-all, I’m pretty much a newbie at the gym: in appearance as well as performance. This sucks. A LOT!
Let’s talk statistics:
I lost over 10 kilograms in 2016
My calories dropped from 4000 to like 1000-1500 max
I lost a lot of muscle, from trunk to twig
My main lifts went down as follow: (in order of disappointment)
My chin ups also decreased from in above twenty to below ten, obviously all of my other accessory lifts (curls, lunges, machine exercises, military press and the likes) decreased too. At least I can still manage to do rope climbs and I’m still hitting pushups for 30 reps. Not all is lost. Most. But not all.
The numbers reflected above is for my CURRENT activity, for 2017. I did manage to do a better job in the middle of 2016, June-July-ish, where my lifts were as follow:
Apart from my appalling performance in the gym, I’m also very much disappointed in the changes my physique has undergone. I pretty much reached the peak of my physique in the very beginning of 2015 (since I don’t feel my ultra-lean, six-pack days back in 2013 were it) and I pretty much ruined it by, well, reacting very normally to a traumatic experience. Little food, little exercise and little worries…
I’m mostly disappointed in the amount of muscle I’ve lost. I feel that I’ve build up to my ideal body (what I see as ideal) which took many years of overcoming eating disorders (Anorexia, Bulimia, Orthorexia and Binge eating), then many years of REALLY training hard & smart, thereby gaining muscle as well as strength, but also changing my eating habits to suit MY lifestyle and prevent me from repeating the past, and I just feel like all my time spent reverse dieting, bulking and really giving it my all in the gym, was for nothing. I’ve worked so hard yet don’t have anything to show anymore.
But I’ve decided to start reverse dieting myself back up to a proper amount of daily caloric intake and also by doing a slight bulk in order to regain my strength as well as the well-built physique I once had a grasp on. I will start a new reverse diet blog in the Reverse Diet section as well as try and post more regularly on my website: blogs, food diaries, freebies and just updates overall. I will share my thoughts, knowledge, exercise routine, “diet” as well as other little things on here, since I have deactivated my Instagram account, which used to be my main platform on which I shared my knowledge regarding training and nutrition.
2017, be kind(er) to me…
Let’s talk statistics:
I lost over 10 kilograms in 2016
My calories dropped from 4000 to like 1000-1500 max
I lost a lot of muscle, from trunk to twig
My main lifts went down as follow: (in order of disappointment)
- Pullups: from 22 to 6 (I REALLY think I hit 24 once in 2015 but can’t find the diary entry to prove it, I'll update it if I find my diary)
- Deadlifts: from 127.5 kg for (3 reps) to 82.5 kg (for 5 reps)
- Squats: from 87.5 kg (3 reps) to 67.5 kg (for 5 reps)
- Bench: from 50 kg (still pathetic lol) to 37.5 kg (for 3 and 5 reps respectively)
- Dips: from 11 to 6
My chin ups also decreased from in above twenty to below ten, obviously all of my other accessory lifts (curls, lunges, machine exercises, military press and the likes) decreased too. At least I can still manage to do rope climbs and I’m still hitting pushups for 30 reps. Not all is lost. Most. But not all.
The numbers reflected above is for my CURRENT activity, for 2017. I did manage to do a better job in the middle of 2016, June-July-ish, where my lifts were as follow:
- Pullups: 17
- Deadlifts: 115 for 3 reps
- Squats: 82.5 kg for 3 reps
- Bench: 47.5 kg for 5 reps
- Dips: 11 (my only PR for 2016)
Apart from my appalling performance in the gym, I’m also very much disappointed in the changes my physique has undergone. I pretty much reached the peak of my physique in the very beginning of 2015 (since I don’t feel my ultra-lean, six-pack days back in 2013 were it) and I pretty much ruined it by, well, reacting very normally to a traumatic experience. Little food, little exercise and little worries…
I’m mostly disappointed in the amount of muscle I’ve lost. I feel that I’ve build up to my ideal body (what I see as ideal) which took many years of overcoming eating disorders (Anorexia, Bulimia, Orthorexia and Binge eating), then many years of REALLY training hard & smart, thereby gaining muscle as well as strength, but also changing my eating habits to suit MY lifestyle and prevent me from repeating the past, and I just feel like all my time spent reverse dieting, bulking and really giving it my all in the gym, was for nothing. I’ve worked so hard yet don’t have anything to show anymore.
But I’ve decided to start reverse dieting myself back up to a proper amount of daily caloric intake and also by doing a slight bulk in order to regain my strength as well as the well-built physique I once had a grasp on. I will start a new reverse diet blog in the Reverse Diet section as well as try and post more regularly on my website: blogs, food diaries, freebies and just updates overall. I will share my thoughts, knowledge, exercise routine, “diet” as well as other little things on here, since I have deactivated my Instagram account, which used to be my main platform on which I shared my knowledge regarding training and nutrition.
2017, be kind(er) to me…
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