Just a few weeks after my sister’s passing, an old school friend of hers told people that “her sister is just taking it so hard because she never had a relationship with her sister and she regrets it.” I was devastated that someone could say something as cruel like that. Loss is loss regardless of how close you were to someone. They remain family. One day when she loses someone close to her, she’ll feel the same way I did and still do, not because of regret but because of mourning someone that has been a part of your live for years and suddenly they won’t share your life with you anymore.
Did my sister and I have a perfect relationship? No. Are there things I regret about our relationship? Yes. But have we always had a strained relationship? NO!!
Growing up, I was more a guardian and mother like figure towards my sister and brother, since I’m almost six years older than my sister (I’m exactly 5 years, 5 months and 1 day older than her). I always looked after them when my mom was at work. I always nurtured them in a way a mother (or big sister) would. As kids, we had a great relationship. I have lots of fond memories of us two. Whether it was playing, dancing or having sleepovers in our rooms.
There was, however, a gap in our relationship when she started hanging out with new friends and boyfriends; she was a teenager, her behaviour and personality changed. We pretty much “hated” one another for about a year, which was between very late 2014 and middle 2015. For that year, if it was even so long, we’d speak when we had to and didn’t really spend much time together as we did during all the previous years. She was just a changed person. Not for the better. We were polar opposites. I didn’t approve of her attitude and things she did and she didn’t need me to be her mom lol.
But luckily her attitude changed again after a hard breakup, she went back to being her old self and we went back to chatting very often, watching movies together, walking with the dogs and just sitting in each other’s presence without needing to talk. During 2016 we spoke about every day, if not, at least weekly, about all sorts of things. We sent each other screenshots and memes often. She’d do my hair. I’d do her make up. And after I moved out, she came to visit me frequently and even had sleepovers here. In 2017, I’d fetch her from school almost every day. Then she’ll come over to my place to visit before I have to go to work. The last year and a half of her life, we had the best relationship. We were friends. We didn’t fight. Ever. It was amazing!
So, dear “not so good friend” who thought you knew my sister and the relationships she kept, we DID have a relationship. We just fought a lot for a little while. Which siblings do. We had a good relationship since she was born up until the day she passed away. There’s a time gap of about a year (or less) in which we didn’t really care for having a relationship.. Other than that, we were good friends and sisters!
Did my sister and I have a perfect relationship? No. Are there things I regret about our relationship? Yes. But have we always had a strained relationship? NO!!
Growing up, I was more a guardian and mother like figure towards my sister and brother, since I’m almost six years older than my sister (I’m exactly 5 years, 5 months and 1 day older than her). I always looked after them when my mom was at work. I always nurtured them in a way a mother (or big sister) would. As kids, we had a great relationship. I have lots of fond memories of us two. Whether it was playing, dancing or having sleepovers in our rooms.
There was, however, a gap in our relationship when she started hanging out with new friends and boyfriends; she was a teenager, her behaviour and personality changed. We pretty much “hated” one another for about a year, which was between very late 2014 and middle 2015. For that year, if it was even so long, we’d speak when we had to and didn’t really spend much time together as we did during all the previous years. She was just a changed person. Not for the better. We were polar opposites. I didn’t approve of her attitude and things she did and she didn’t need me to be her mom lol.
But luckily her attitude changed again after a hard breakup, she went back to being her old self and we went back to chatting very often, watching movies together, walking with the dogs and just sitting in each other’s presence without needing to talk. During 2016 we spoke about every day, if not, at least weekly, about all sorts of things. We sent each other screenshots and memes often. She’d do my hair. I’d do her make up. And after I moved out, she came to visit me frequently and even had sleepovers here. In 2017, I’d fetch her from school almost every day. Then she’ll come over to my place to visit before I have to go to work. The last year and a half of her life, we had the best relationship. We were friends. We didn’t fight. Ever. It was amazing!
So, dear “not so good friend” who thought you knew my sister and the relationships she kept, we DID have a relationship. We just fought a lot for a little while. Which siblings do. We had a good relationship since she was born up until the day she passed away. There’s a time gap of about a year (or less) in which we didn’t really care for having a relationship.. Other than that, we were good friends and sisters!
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