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Consistency have not yet found me

3/25/2014

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Very, very, very few entries during this time was made... I have no idea what shit I got up to. Lets just say that I was still not consistent in hitting my macros, especially during March, which happened to have 2 birthdays and a wedding. But let that not be an excuse, I ate shit apart from the official celebrations anyway.

I think it was during the end of March that my friend finally came to realise, no matter how thoroughly she helped and guided me, I'm still not recovered well enough to actually
be leading a new lifestyle. I could not let go of all the binging and restricting. I had tons of anxiety just including something that was previously off my meal plan, like Feta Cheese. But I had no anxiety whatsoever to binge on the whole Charlie & the Chocolate Factory. It had come to no surprise, she couldn't have helped me unless I started to change my ways. I needed to be more open. I needed to include more variety in my "diet" in order to prevent the binging and restricting cycle. I felt ashamed and bad for having received the best possible help, but not being able to follow through.

Training- 5 days a week of CrossFit in the AM ; 5 days a week of weight training in the PM
Nutrition- No logging, no consistency, binge and restrict cycle all over again.

binge, sugar high, weight gain, eating disorder, iifym, clean eating, birthday, wedding, cheating, last cheat, cheatmeal, fitness, bikini
PS: Disregard all the "Day..." on all the pictures, even upcoming ones. Just like most clean eaters I would have 1 day, well in my case 1 month, of "the last cheat" and would then start all over again. I stopped using "Day..." a while after I started officially reverse dieting myself.

Calories / Macros were the same.

Calories= 1460
  • Protein= 125 g
  • Carbs= 150 g
  • Fats= 40 g


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